Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
