Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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