some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You can't just leave with hair like that
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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