I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
