We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
