So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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