Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she smelled like a LAN party
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
