..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
