I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
