toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
