I wish I could punch you in the face.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
