It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
