I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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