Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
