thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
