i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I want is dick and wine.
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