Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
