I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
