wrigley field is MILF paradise
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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