i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
