I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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