There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
