thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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