He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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