end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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