Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
