Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
