To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
