He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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