I like to think it a success when the cops are called
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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