also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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