it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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