Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
