Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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