So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
