can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize