Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
