saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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