Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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