i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
FUCK WHALES
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