Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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