just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
