I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
