Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize