all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
