She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
