He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
