I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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