Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
