Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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