I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
