do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
