Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
