Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
