I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize