let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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