i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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