Duck Duck Cougar?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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