her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
