Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
